Business

Stephen Colbert Blasts Donald Trump’s Plan To Hire Teachers At Shooting Ranges

Donald Trump has been POTUS for over a year now and Late Show host Stephen Colbert admits every night he goes to bed believing there is nothing left that Trump can say or do that could possibly still surprise him.

“And then the sun comes up and it happened again today,” Colbert admitted Monday night.

Meeting with governors at the White House, Trump’s top-agenda item was the urgent problem of school shootings; again he pitched the National Rifle Association’s plan to arm school teachers, telling the governors they need not fear the NRA.

“This idea has not been received well by people who have had, or been, a teacher,” Colbert noted. So, Trump, on Monday, reconsidered his position, and instead approached the problem with a more nuanced, multi-faceted and comprehensive position, explaining he doesn’t want just any teacher to have a gun.

“I want highly trained people that have a natural talent, like hitting a baseball, or hitting a golf ball,” Trump explained with a straight face.

To have a natural talent for gun shooting, Colbert explained, you have to be born with at least a trigger finger. Sometimes, Colbert noted, it’s the only way out of a neighborhood. “You guys know gunball: you give one guy a ball and then you shoot him.”

Colbert envisioned a country in which school principals recruit new teachers from shooting ranges. “You see someone who’s a good shot, you say, ‘Congratulations, you’re teaching AP Chemistry.'”

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